(Don’t be alarmed it wasn’t anything that required a safety word or the Heimlich.) But it was still awesome and unexpected. ![]() To my complete surprise yet utter delight, she started to choke me. When I handed her the scotch (Johnnie Walker Gold), she looked directly into my eyes and asked: “Why the hell did you put ice in my glass?” She had also just recently returned from backpacking Europe after having just quit a highly successful nursing job to do so (who does that?!) Fast-forward to the bedroom an hour later and her riding on top of me. I once hooked up with a girl that yelled at me when I accidentally made her a drink WITH ice. She’s not afraid to be different and take risks (AKA: She’s a freak in bed). If you’re willing to pay the price, by all means. She’s fun to watch and even harder to keep up with. She’s that summer lightning storm that leaves just as quickly as she arrives. This girl is crazy, reckless and will break your heart. You know how I know whiskey drinkers are intellectual conversationalists? Frequent conversations with many smart women over the years. Similarily, I’m just flipping the odds in your favor. But keep in mind that successful gamblers who make a living out of counting cards in blackjack are only tipping the house odds roughly one percent in their favor. I’m aware most of these descriptors are blanket statements. ![]() She’s easy to talk to AND is interesting. This knowledge can only come from experimenting and experience, you know, the same things scientists are known for. When a woman is specific to a particular brand or type, you better believe she knows what she wants and why she wants it. Even then, there are different sub-categories depending on the recipe and ingredients. It can be bourbon (for example, whiskey made in a bourbon fashion can only be called “bourbon” if it’s made in Kentucky), Scotch (you guessed it has to be made in Scotland), Canadian, Irish, American, etc. Whiskey encompasses a whole spectrum of varieties and flavors. Girls who drink whiskey tend to stick with whiskey the entire night and, therefore, are able to pace themselves, control themeslves, and dictate how their night ends. “Basic” girls will flip-flop between different cocktails without any pace and then it’s only a matter of time before the bar floor becomes a flood of glitter and tears. Secondly, often times these house drinks mask the taste of cheap, poorly crafted well liquor (how do you think the bar turns a profit on “Nickle Shot” night?) Yes, they might taste good going down but so does fruit punch flavored cyanide. ![]() Sugar increases the absorption rate of alcohol into the body and will get a person drunker more quickly. First off, the problem with these drinks is the sugar content. I can’t tell you the countless number of times I’ve served up Margaritas and Daiquiris and Pina Coladas (oh my!) that inevitably ended up in a night of hysteria and lost cell phones. And there’s nothing “neater” to me than a woman who drinks whiskey. Dangerous and delicious. Coincidentally, these are the same traits I admire in a woman. So, in light of the classic maxim, “you are what you eat”, I believe the same holds true for what one chooses to drink. While most girls are chasing the next en vogue flavored spirit, figuratively and literally (if you’ve done a shot of Fireball recently, yes, I’m talking about you), there are still a few of us who prefer to taste the liquor as it was intended: Raw and pure. You can call me old-fashioned if you want (old-fashioned as in traditional, not “old-fashioned” as in the whiskey cocktail made with muddled fruit and club soda).īut having been a bartender for ten years, I’ve noticed “neat” drinks are a rare request. In one word, you can succinctly say: “Just pour the liquor from the bottle to my glass, please.” No “shaking it off” in a mixer for chilling, or whatever it is the kids today are doing. It’s also how I drink my whiskey, specifically scotch. The good, the bad, and the crrrrazy about girls who drink whiskey.īelieve it or not, it’s a word that you can use other than describing your friend’s stamp collection. In the lexicon of the bartender, It means no ice.
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